Sharks saved my life ... what will save you?

This past February, I had the incredibly opportunity to do a TEDx Talk.  Here it is...

 

You can also watch the video here:

TEDx Talk YouTube

 

Title:  Sharks saved my life.  What will save you?

 

Overview:

 

When I hit the lowest part of my life, sharks saved me and set me on a course to save the lives of others. Everyone has their personal, contained and powerful Emotional Bucket.  You never know what you may find in your emotional bucket and how that discovery can save you and change the world.

nd unpredictable emotional bucket. You never know what you may find in your emotional bucket and how that powerful discovery can save you and change the worldnd unpredictable emotional bucket. You never know what you may find in your emotional bucket and how that powerful discovery can save you and change t

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Hello, my name is Sue Chen and I am the founder and CEO of NOVA Medical Products, aka, The NOVA Lady.  But I’m also known as the Shark Lady.  As NOVA CEO, I have the entrepreneurial story and like a good company founder, I can tell my NOVA story.  But my shark story?  It would go like this, “So, how did you get into sharks?  What inspired you to save sharks?  ahhh?  I don't know?”

I am here today - THIS version of me, the one doing this TEDx talk because of sharks and my love for them.  I’m here to tell you how they saved my life.

Here’s our story:

At 36, I was in love and married a really cute guy, AND I was an invincible CEO.  Having started my company at 23, I felt like a seasoned veteran and quite proud of myself.

Less than a year later, I was in a miserable marriage, feeling like the most vulnerable CEO on the planet and on the brink … of what - I don't know..., but I felt like I was on the edge of a cliff - everyday.  My two great loves - my husband and my company, were now the source of a bottomless pain and darkness I had never known.

And, this was incredibly jarring for me. I'm that person blessed with good serotonin levels..., I'm that person who's usually "super positive”, ”super resilient” … Now, I felt like a Super Loser.   For the first time in my life, I was depressed.  So much so that I even wondered if it would be easier to not be around.  Yea ... me. "Super" Sue Chen thought those thoughts.  Even in my state ... I knew, This Was Bad.  I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with my husband - and my company involved in a lawsuit that could drag us way down and done.  The NOVA CEO who always carried the torch was powerless.  And, when you are in an abusive relationship, it controls you - your mind, body and spirit - past, present and future.  It's a prison.  My loved ones felt hopeless, but I could see the pain, sadness and anger in their eyes … because they could see my eyes.  I was no longer me.

Let me lighten the mood for just a moment, go back a couple of years from that point, and tell you about the first time I met a shark.  As fate would have it, on my first official dive as a certified diver, in the waters of Hawaii, the very first thing I saw was a black tip reef shark.  mmmm.... not sure what I felt, but my dive master said I was lucky to have such a very rare and epic encounter.

So, very excited about my new blue world, I was off to the Galapagos Islands in 2006 for more epic encounters.  Boy, did I have epic encounters - dolphins, mola molas, penguins, sea lions … and sharks, hundreds of them.  Was I afraid? …aahhh… Noooo…they were actually very shy, beautiful and fearful of me.

Ok...back to the lowest point in my life.  I hated being me and would often feel that from the moment I woke up to when I finally fell asleep.  As someone who doesn’t really like to sleep, now - I just wanted to close my eyes and shut down.  It was during that time, I started dreaming about sharks and THEIR suffering...not in specifics, but the devastation was a nightmare. This happened night after night … what was going on??  My brain’s current data bank about sharks consisted of consuming shark fin soup - a Chinese delicacy - at several special event type occasions, and the few dive encounters … so where did these overwhelming and powerful dreams come from?

I started waking up more and more lucid about sharks and less of my own misery.  So much so that I simply could not get sharks out of my mind or my heart.

So, while I was depressed and on that Brink - I fell in Love...with Sharks.  Never could I imagine that I would fall in love with the most feared animal on the planet. And because of that fear and the explosive demand for shark fin soup … and I mean explosive - in the last 10 years, over 500 million sharks have been killed in the most cruel manner - fins sliced off and the shark thrown back in the ocean to slowly die … So, sharks - on our planet for over 450 million years and vital to the health of our oceans - are being wiped out to extinction - for a soup. 

Love meant that I needed to do that “something" - the only way I know how, which is all in, the Super Sue way.  As I began my quest to save sharks, I started to feel emotions that were crushed and absent - passion, fight, courage…

For me and my life so far, what was happening here did not make sense.  Fall in love with sharks and want to save them? … I’ll get to that in a bit. But what also was a “first” for me was that I could not pull myself out of this place of misery.

You see, I was really good at compartmentalizing or zapping hard and painful emotions … I had some practice. My father, who was my best friend died after a long battle with cancer when I was 14. No kid is equipped to lose a parent … I do remember watching Gone with the Wind and feeling the power of Scarlett O'Hara as she pronounces, “as God as my witness, I will never go hungry again”.  We can all recall that line, but there was another great Scarlett quote, she says, "I'm not going to think about that today, I'm going to think about that tomorrow."  I thought, well, me too. I’ll use that same approach to get through the stress of my dad's illness, death and any challenge that would come my way.  I'll think about it later. Block it out. Compartmentalize.  And by doing so - I can smile, have a positive attitude, get back to being that super turbo me … and most of all - not feel the pain.

I'm not alone, most of us try to compartmentalize, block things out, rewire or rewrite the past.

There are a lot of “copping philosophies", from Scarlet O'Hara's "think about it tomorrow", to Elsa’s (of Frozen fame’s)  "let it go”.  I even found over 7,000 titles on amazon.com with Letting go of Anger or Letting go of Pain.  But is that reality? Can you really Let it Go, or Lock it away?  I believe the answer is No.  When I hit bottom and on the brink - My tried and true copping skills did not work.

Here’s why … because of your emotional bucket.

I came up with "emotional bucket" because it is a solo single container - no compartments and no release hatches.  What goes in there, stays in there - and it’s all seeped together. Your emotional bucket contains love, passion, joy… but also other big emotions such as resentment, hate, anger… These powerful emotions are cultivated, nourished, and drive how you feel, what you do and how your live.

As my passion and love for sharks gained place in my emotional bucket - resentment, and anger began to wane and I started to feel like me again.  Those emotional extremes are all in there together, but one side does prevail.

Love and Passion indeed prevailed in my life giving me the strength, clarity and courage to accept responsibility, make tough decisions and forge change.  I got out of my abusive marriage and renewed the love for my company and our mission to improve and save lives.

So far, that makes sense, when your emotional bucket is full of bad/debilitating emotions, you need to put in good/powerful emotions. 

But how are they going to get in there?  Especially when you are locked down at the bottom and not able to think about anything other than your miserable place.  Now, here is where I'm going to get "out there" and "make you think”.

Let’s go back to other “does not make sense” - Why, at the lowest point of my life, was I compelled by love - to save sharks?

I believe THAT is when a higher calling comes in to save YOU.

This calling to save sharks, that came in my dreams, night after night was not in my control, not in my plans.

Do you ever wonder why someone is on an obsessed mission … from John Feehan’s 47 years researching and furthering the cause of Dung Beetles to Phymean Nouns quest to save the most vulnerable Cambodian women and children from slavery and poverty …   I’ve worked with over 100 non-profit leaders including the CNN Heroes - people doing ridiculously amazing work and asked them what propelled them to do so much more, so obsessively… Ultimately, it was a calling beyond their control … something they could not shake.

Sure, there are experiences in life that ignite a passion or interest … I had an amazing connection and encounter with sharks, but I’ve connected with lots of animals, and didn’t feel compelled to save them … So what drives you to do more - crazy more, like you may not be in control...  Maybe there are forces at work that we do not deliberately or consciously choose...they choose us.  Maybe the world needs that random connection, that seems to be just right - perfectly matched … perfectly timed.

Maybe these forces at work need you to save something or do something beyond you, in order to save yourself.  

Now, let’s tie that back to the emotional bucket that’s been through a personal hell, which now has a healthy dose of painful emotions - permanent in the life landscape.

Once you know the landscape of Pain, you also can know the landscape of change, disruption, and the unimaginable.  Because knowing pain and having been to the “dark side” and come back, equips you to go head to head and conquer the most debilitating of emotions, and that is fear. It’s an incredible chemistry that happens in your emotional bucket when pain, suffering and misery are mixed in with passion and love … prevailing.

Maybe that emotional bucket alchemy is where human super powers come from.

And the reality is, that those higher callings may need human super powers to correct an injustice, save a species, change the world…

Our greatest human heroes have emotional buckets with tremendous pain and misery, with love prevailing.

Your Emotional Bucket is always yours, always with you and the most powerful part of who you are.  You can reach in - anytime. Because it is YOURs and no one else’s.

So, how are my sharks doing?  Well, in 2011, California was for the largest jurisdiction to ban shark fin trade AND consumption, and last year it was reported in the China Daily that consumption for shark fin soup was down in China by 70%.  My beloved sharks may have a chance … and would you believe me if I told you that they loved me back? 

In 2013, with a few fellow shark advocates, we formed Operation Blue Pride and took wounded veterans on a shark expedition to inspire our American Heroes to become Shark Heroes.  Here’s a clip of how Emma the Tiger Shark showed her affection for all of us. 

I don't know if I'll be able to save our sharks, but I'll never stop trying.  It’s the least I can do for saving my life.

We are 7.2 billion people and 8.7 million unique species on ONE planet.  ONE planet! - and as far as I know - there is no backup plan. Somehow, we need to figure out how to be together and protect our home.  The future relies on us today, so trust the Calling, and the power of your Emotional Bucket.

Last year, we lost Maya Angelou, the most beautiful voice of the human heart. 

Ms. Angelou, if I may quote you,

"Listen to yourself and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God."

Thank you.